December 6/7 Lesson: Writers' Workshop: Draft Revision; Peer Review: Refining our Conclusion; Discussion Forum

Essential Question: How do we revise our written interview presentation (embedded assessment)? 

I. Peer Review(20 minutes)/ You will exchange your draft with the person you worked with yesterday. You will read their paper thoroughly, mark the essay ( underlines, checks, question marks and exclamation points are appropriate for this exercise), and answer the following in response:  

    1. Does the first paragraph serve as a good introduction to the rest of the paper or writing? Y/N      Comment:

     2. Can you identify a thesis statement? Y/N

Comment:

     3. Is the paper organized with supporting details and a conclusion? Y/N

Comment:

     

     4. Sentence Fluency: Are there any sentences whose meaning is unclear? Is there any part of this paper that is difficult to follow? Y/N

Identify:

     5. Conventions: Did you find distracting grammar, punctuation, spelling or word usage problems? Y/N

Identify: 

      6. Ideas: Do the ideas presented make sense? Are there any parts that seem out of    

         place? Y/N

Identify:

1. What is the greatest strength of this piece of writing?

1. Word Choice: Are there any rich vocabulary words that add to the overall effect of the paper? Y/N     Identify:

1. Is the lead (first sentence or two) effective?

1. Word Choice and Sentence Fluency/Ideas: Select the best phrase in the writing and underline it. 

1. Conclusion? Does the conclusion restate and predict?

1. Sentence Fluency: Are there any run-on sentences or sentence fragments?  Y/N

Identify:

II. Mini Lesson: Concluding Paragraph (30 minutes) 

“In conclusion, you may want to predict how you can use what you learned from the interview as you experience high school yourself (Embedded Assessment).”

Modeling Content for a Concluding Paragraph

1. Emphasize controlling idea to make clear its significance.
2. Restate main points of composition
3. Make a prediction about the future for your interviewee based on your interview and understanding of the interviewee): 

Modeling a Concluding Paragraph

       In conclusion, it is obvious that Joe Smith’s high school years were an important chapter in his life, and such coming of age experiences as making the football team and excelling in sports had a lasting affect on him. Given this experience of this interview, I have been inspired to try out for a team sport possibly, as it seems an important part of the high school experience. Mr. Smith’s love of the outdoors and his experience in the woods are part of preserving the unique character of this great state. Mr. Smith’s enthusiastic tone and an ability to share his experiences with engaging language and imagery tell me he will continue to serve as a role model for others like myself.

Revise your paper.

III. Of Mice and Men/ Discussion Forum (Remainder): Go to boardhost.com where there is a discussion forum on Of Mice and Men. Continue reading as a whole group in class. Discuss Setting and Characterization. 

Homework: 

Revise your written interview presentation basing the revision on your classmate’s peer review and today’s class. The revision is due Mon. Dec. 9. Hand-in your peer review, your draft, and with your final draft stapled together on Monday. Look at the rubric handed out and that we have used recently for our C & C essay.

Respond to the discussion topic about Of Mice and Men on boardhost.com 

Optional/ Further Practice: Compound Sentences

Have a good weekend!   :)